Material Scientist
Author: agkuba
I believe in passion and determination above talent.
I believe in effort above absolute success.
I believe in health above aesthetics, above weight.
I believe in meaning above happiness, above comfort.
I believe in experience above material goods.
I believe in collaboration above adversarial competition.
I believe in the value an action provides others above what advantage it lends me.
Above all these things, above wealth, above power,
I believe in love.
Some of my best moments are in black night
With you, dreaming of our life together
Heart overflowing with joy, overflowing with light,
Certain that I will love you forever.
I think fondly of the countless moments shared
The feeling of transcendence in your presence,
As if about the rest I never cared
While our hearts beat in perfect resonance.
Life’s trivialities falling away
One man and one woman, time standing still.
Then I wake up and am steeped in dismay;
I’ve not yet met you. Could be I never will.
Until that day I will struggle and serve;
I will fight to become the man you deserve.
I’ve been wandering for years, without a guide,
With no direction, no guiding purpose:
Just passing through life, Never feeling tied
To anything of worth. Living with no fuss
Because I didn’t care about a thing.
But now I see the world through different eyes.
Eyes that have gazed upon you. Eyes that sting
When they look away from you. Now I will fight
For you. I will do all within my power
To see the blinding light that is your smile
To make sure that not one thing will sour
Your day. And if I should fail, all the while,
I’ll be holding your hand- standing with you.
There is nothing else on earth I’d rather do.
It’s the not knowing that really gets you-
Infinite possibilities to sort-
Always wondering which of them is true,
A ship trying to dock without a port.
Not knowing what they say when you leave the room
Not knowing what they think in their mind’s eye
When they smile at you but look away too soon,
Not knowing whether to laugh or cry
And not knowing what to say to tell them
Every feeling swelling in your core
Fighting to burst out: but that’s too sudden.
Hold it back. Don’t let them see that there is more.
Slow your mind but keep your eyes wide open: put away all thoughts of the world. Do not think about time, immerse yourself in it, bathe yourself in it. Focus on your breath, deep inside, as it bursts forth through your mouth, smoke rising. The regular tempo of your stride as you hurtle forward, propelled by sheer will. The chill that tries to grab you, stab you with every step, the fire of your muscles as they work ever harder. The beating of your heart as you move onward, relentlessly pursuing your goals. Take in the street lights as the city falls away behind you, glowing amber in the dark of night, reflecting off the river’s calm surface, no one outside but you. Feel the spring of your muscles, the contact of your feet as you hit the ground. Lose yourself on the road, and find your soul. Keep moving.
What I really mean is:
What’s good? What’s bad? What has your blood pumping, what has your blood boiling? What is thrilling you, what is killing you, what terrifies you and what has changed your life? What fills your heart with despair and what floods you with hope for the future? What moves you? What inspires you, what sets your soul on fire? Because if I care
about you, there is no over sharing. But I can’t say that. I can only say: how are you? And hope that you are more open than I.
Snow smothers the hillside, icy white coat:
The chill has buried itself in my bones-
Almost like an ache-with no antidote.
I lie in bed listening to the tones
Of the city outside of my window,
Not wanting to move, to get up, go on.
Weary of the constant stumbles, I know
Will never end. Not until I am gone.
But that- that is the most important part.
We learn from every misstep, mistake.
So I pull myself from bed with all my heart
And fight for better ev’ry day I wake.
I’ll fight with ev’ry last ounce of strength, it’s true-
I am human. It’s all I can do.
(Image By Tristan Nitot (standblog.org) [GFDL (http://www.gnu.org/copyleft/fdl.html), CC-BY-SA-3.0 (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0/) or CC BY-SA 2.5 (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/2.5)%5D, via Wikimedia Commons)
The seconds tick by more rapidly now;
Gone are the days when they creeped slowly by.
Gone are the days when I marveled at how
big the world was under an endless sky.
I have loved and I have lost many friends.
I have seen how quickly life can slip away
When you only look forward around the bend.
I do not want to waste another day.
I cherish the seconds that stretch on for hours
As we laugh about nothing in my place
As we walk below the city’s towers
As I bask in the beauty of your face.
I hope that when this all comes to an end
I’m left with fond memories and you as a friend.
The chill is creeping slowly into the air:
Crisp as apples hanging heavy in trees.
One cannot help but to stop and to stare
while standing still in the autumnal breeze.
Stare at the mountains clad in old forests,
Blazing with fire before their season’s sleep,
As the sun falls slowly into the west.
Soon all will seem dead, but yet do not weep:
It is nothing more than a rest well earned.
Soon the nights will grow long and dwarf the day,
Life will settle down to sleep after it burned
all summer long. Remember as all turns grey
That we are mere months from spring and rain
That brings new life, new joy we cannot contain.
(Trying out this whole soundcloud thing)
Austin Kuba 