Author: agkuba

Keep going

Keep going

For some reason I feel like it was Easter
I don’t think it really was
But sometime in the late winter or spring
When you came home
And I saw the looks on your faces
I honestly thought someone died
Some terrible accident
What else could make you look like that?
Shattered.
But then we went to the room
With the big windows
Filled with warm rays of sun
And I sat on the ground
I don’t need a chair
While you told us
How things would change
(But they wouldn’t)
Shattered time
Go to sit alone
Do the work you asked me to do months ago
To distract myself
But in the end I tried to understand
To see it from your eyes
I don’t think it was about me
I don’t think it was about any of us
Some things in us run deep
Cracks in the bedrock we don’t notice until it’s too late
So how could I fault you?
And to this day I do the same

To see from others eyes
Everyone has their reason
For the things they do
Noone is the villain in their own story
And sometimes things are hard
But we don’t control our lives
It’s an endless game of chance
We only control how we respond
How we keep going
I always will.

Together

Together

Because all I want is to follow you
To the ends of the earth
To the bottom of the sea
To wake up with you
Still sleeping, beside me
In a tent in the mountains with many miles to walk
In a cabin by the ocean
Anywhere you want

And when you’re too tired to keep going,
I’ll take the lead
And pave the way
Through the streets of this city
Let you rest until you wake
And take your place by me,
A perfect team.

Echoes

Echoes

I hope that from the moment you entered this world, you knew love
I did
In the soft touch of my mothers hand
As we crossed the street
And the gaze of all my family
I brought that with me
Time after time
Finding love is easy
But enduring is not always
But the old cliche is true
It’s better to lose than to never have
To build up walls and lock yourself away
Because I am made up of many pieces
Of those I’ve loved
Family
Friends
Lovers
Small things like
Angel food cake with cool whip and strawberries
Peeps marshmallow candy
Fried chicken a little too burnt
A dogfish head IPA

Flip flops in the dead of winter
The smell of smoke lingering on a sofa
A favorite band we saw together

A big smile and a pat on the back
Or an aperol spritz by a lake
Every thought I have
Every move I make contains
Echoes of those I love now
Those I’ve loved and lost
A beautiful symphony
I never want to fade
Until I’m gone
And the whisper echoes in the minds
Of those that love me.

The next right thing

The next right thing

I’m not sure what controls this world
Or what its motivations are
I think the safest thing to believe
Is nothing at all
Pure randomness
And the free will we exercise together
In this grand mosaic of planet earth
Weaving together the history of our world
One thread at a time
And so, each day is precious
Each moment each decision
Each good day and every ray of sun
Because in a moment the wind can change
And blow it all away.
It happens all the time
To people far better than me
But no matter what life throws at me
I will always pop up
And a smile will arise again
Today
Tomorrow
In sixty years
Till I draw my last breath
Because the only thing I can control
Is my own actions
And what I do with what I am given
And I always hope
Always want
For it to be
The next right thing.

A warm bright spot

A warm bright spot

This world contains multitudes
It’s not one or the other
For every day full of sunshine and warmth
There’s a storm waiting to darken the sky
That will, too, eventually pass
And there’s often no sense
No reason
Why some get more of one
And some more of the other
And some not enough of either.
And I am just one small part of this world
One weightless drop of water,
One small beam of light,
But I am a part of it
It’s shape and feel
It’s light and darkness
So I seek to be a small, warm, bright spot
A gentle place to take a rest
Before moving on the way
And I seek not to take
But to give
Not to win
But to build
Not to hate
But to love
And I know I will fail sometimes
But I hope to succeed more times
And I hope you join me
And the world becomes a little warmer and brighter
Together.

How to help

How to help

I saw it on the news again
The same sad story
A man the world forgot
Neglected, didn’t shelter
Acting out a little
Crying out in pain
In a way that was inconvenient to society
His light extinguished too soon
By a violent wind
And I stand here
Lost in thought
Asking how to solve the problem
Asking where it comes from
And how I play a role
How can I help my fellow man?
When sometimes I feel I can hardly take care of myself
But that’s nothing
Compared to what he lived
But this problem is so big
And each of our parts is so small
It can feel hopeless
But that’s not a reason not to try
So I hope the next time I can do something
Something small or large
To help ease someone’s pain
I will do it
Without a seconds thought
And that there are millions just like me
Thinking the same.

Human

Human

Sometimes I feel
Like my heart is so close to the surface
Protected by nothing
Just a paper thin skin
Beating, faster and faster,
Straining to leave its cage
Always reaching for something
Always searching
Grasping
For something that slips through my fingers
Every time

But sometimes I catch a glimpse in the mirror
Of the masks that I wear
The shell that I use
To protect myself
To keep myself apart
Even from those I love

And I wonder
How I could be both of these things at once
Why there is nothing in the middle
And if one is the real me
I guess there is no answer
And that I’m not the only one
And that is part of what makes us human

The Fork in the Road

The Fork in the Road

Some want to be known
Some want to disappear
Sometimes it’s best to just be
To take the road in front of you
with all the twists and turns.
To look just ahead,
to see each fork in front
and only think about the next right thing.
Life is not always fair
It’s often a game of chance
Or a game of hard work and chance
Where both are needed
To get where we are going.
But the fates don’t bend to our will
So we can try to control the little we can
And hope that it’s enough.

Pain

Pain

You asked me why I make my life so hard
I’m not sure it’s like that
Maybe it’s just that I don’t care
That I don’t do anything to stop it
But why?
I guess when one fears the hard times
The burn in one’s arms
The lead in one’s bones
The fatigue that smothers like a blanket
That fear itself
Can do all that and more
Always running from pain
That’s only temporary
That won’t consume my soul.

But maybe it’s not that
Maybe it’s the contrast
The old cliche
No light without dark
I always identify with people who have known pain
In a life full of pleasure, the absence feels like pain
In a life full of struggle, pleasure feels like manna from Heaven
On a journey with no food or drink
Legs aching full of hunger and thirst
The first sight of civilization
The first sip of water, bite of food
These are worth living for
When one returns from a walk home in the cold rain
Fleeing thunder and lightning
Soaked to the bone
And you walk through the door to a warm home
The deep breath
The feeling of peace.

Or maybe it’s to train
For the next shoe to drop
It always will
And that’s ok
To be afraid of pain is to intensify it
But I greet pain as an old friend
Coming for a visit
Who will leave
And one day return again.

The Future

We have to remember
That the future lays before us
Stretching endlessly
Towards… what?
That we’ll never see
And that’s ok
Things begin
Things end
And we don’t know what’s in front of us
Or for how long
But that’s the beauty
The surprise
The joy
The heartache
The pain
The love
It’s a novel we live, not read,
Full of endless possibilities.

Sunrise over the alps and lake Neuchâtel.