Tag: Poetry

Keep you warm

Keep you warm

This world is cruel, I know
Full of tragedy
Sound of tears
Sound of bombs
Sound of screams
Sound of silence.
And there’s so much in it that feels random
Why am I here? Not there?
Most of us are not any better people
Just born into better circumstances
Given a little more light and warmth
To make it easier to grow.
Somehow even then
Steeped in privilege
We find our little grievances
“Why did this happen to me?”
Failing to see the struggles of others every day.
But, my love
When the world seems covered in darkness
I know there’s always one shining light
Out there I can count on
And if you can’t see it
That’s because it’s you.
We cannot banish the darkness in the world by ourselves
All we can do is to try our very best
Every day
To be a small beacon of light in our corner of this world
To find others like us
Help brighten each others lives
And hope that the light spreads a little further into the darkness.
So when this world is dark
When this world feels cold
And you feel at your worst
I will pick you up
I will hold you close to me
Surround you
Envelop you
And you can rest your head on my chest a while
And we can breathe together
And I will keep you warm.

In Pieces

In Pieces

The first time I went away from home
I think I was not sure of myself
Whether I would find a new home
Whether I was worthy of love
And could find it with people who were not bound to me
By an accident of the time and place of our birth
But I did find friends
And lovers
More than once
Not always perfect fits
But close enough
Everyone has a small piece of the divine spark

And I moved from home to home many times
And always found people whose souls
Would resonate, at least a little, with mine
Until eventually I found myself
Love for me
Just the way I am
But it’s interesting
That since I was young
In some ways I set myself apart
People like to do things for others
It’s one of my favorite things
But somehow I wanted to do things by myself
Never rely on others
I deprive them of the thing I crave most
And I still don’t like to ask people for things
I’d rather figure it out on my own
Do it on my own

I’m not really sure why
It’s not because I fear someone to say no
I have grown comfortable with discomfort
And I feel that I am enough
No matter what others think
I think it’s because I don’t want to trouble others
I fear more that someone would say yes
Despite not wanting to
Or to say no and feel bad
I don’t want to be a burden, to ask for precious pieces of someone that they’d rather keep
But why?

In the end it must come back to me
It always does
Some myth of myself I hold too dear
The easiest one to fool is the one in the mirror
I want to believe
That I am infinite
That I am unbreakable
And I can give out little pieces of myself
Over and over again
And never take something back
Sometimes I really think I am
But somewhere deep inside
I remember times
Where I gave too much
And started to crack
Even if I didn’t let it show
Where there weren’t so many pieces left to give

And so maybe I should try to learn
To protect myself a little
To slow down
To give less freely
And keep some of the important pieces for myself
Or someone who will keep them safe.

The Vine

The Vine

I think now we had no business being together
I’m not sure what drew me to you
Or, even more, you to me.
I think in the end I was hurt
And I saw the wounds in you
And somehow I thought I could help
And it would help me too.
And really I know I fucked up
I didn’t know the right thing to do
Was oblivious
But damn, did I try
For so long
To find some way to help
To be enough for you.
But it was never going to happen.
So, our time together withered and turned grey
Rotted on the vine
And I wanted so bad somehow to save it
But I had a brown thumb, or two left feet.
I should have let it go years before
Rather than keep cutting off pieces of my flesh
To try to stop the bleeding.

Jump

Jump

It started as many of the best things do.
Just two kids, same year, living in the same town.
And I don’t even know the first time I saw you
I remember you dated a friend of mine, when we were way too young.
And I remember the class we took together
I did my best to help you
I think you were grateful
But I would have given it and more for nothing.
And you disappeared for a bit
Or my attention went elsewhere
Until I drove you home one day
After the leaves had changed
Crimson red and gold
And had started to wither and fall.
So I gave you my shirt,
In an attempt to protect you
In a world so cold but suddenly
It felt a little more warm.
And then flash forward to your parents basement
Just friends for a second
Until you leaned in
Further and further
Your head on my chest
Your breathing in time with mine
And it was clear you felt the same.
In the beginning I know I was too unfocused
My attention elsewhere, divided.
The space open in my life a little smaller than you deserved.
But it felt like you gave it all to me
And in time I gave it all to you.
My life intertwined with yours
Your friends my friends
Until you were a piece of me.
But then it ended
Fitting with how it began
We weren’t in the same place anymore
Lives growing, expanding
Reaching for new horizons.
And now I know
It’s good in the end
You did us a favor
Not to hold us back
But it hurt
That I had finally jumped
Had a few moments of glorious free fall
And then, suddenly, the ground.
But that’s young love
And I’m happy it happened
Happy I had you
And I hope that your life
Is everything I dreamed it would be
And more.

Lessons

Lessons

I’m not sure where I learned many of these lessons
Seems like they were there before I can remember
Deeply embedded in my mind
Many of them good
Just as many bad
The baggage I carry through life and try to unlearn.
And so you caught my eye
Both of you
And I fell in deep
And I acted out the lessons I learned
Playing this movie in my mind, sharing it with you
But somehow at this time
I didn’t know that it could work
That anyone could be interested in this boy just barely becoming a man
And so I didn’t think
Because I thought you would never take interest
It would never become real.
And I’m not sure exactly how much you cared for me
But I guess it was a bit at least
And then it came out
You were friends
Of course you talked
I acted a fool
To make you both feel special with the same words.
The thing is, you were both special.
To me.
But I was lazy and I didn’t believe my words had power
Didn’t believe I had power
Was worthy of love.
And with time you both had grace
Forgave me somehow
Became friends again.
And you weren’t the same anymore
And I hope you felt that you were special to me
In different ways.
And we have lost touch over the years
So much has happened
I hope you’ve known love and joy
I still think of you sometimes
And wish with all my heart
That you are happy
And loved.

Keep going

Keep going

For some reason I feel like it was Easter
I don’t think it really was
But sometime in the late winter or spring
When you came home
And I saw the looks on your faces
I honestly thought someone died
Some terrible accident
What else could make you look like that?
Shattered.
But then we went to the room
With the big windows
Filled with warm rays of sun
And I sat on the ground
I don’t need a chair
While you told us
How things would change
(But they wouldn’t)
Shattered time
Go to sit alone
Do the work you asked me to do months ago
To distract myself
But in the end I tried to understand
To see it from your eyes
I don’t think it was about me
I don’t think it was about any of us
Some things in us run deep
Cracks in the bedrock we don’t notice until it’s too late
So how could I fault you?
And to this day I do the same

To see from others eyes
Everyone has their reason
For the things they do
Noone is the villain in their own story
And sometimes things are hard
But we don’t control our lives
It’s an endless game of chance
We only control how we respond
How we keep going
I always will.

Together

Together

Because all I want is to follow you
To the ends of the earth
To the bottom of the sea
To wake up with you
Still sleeping, beside me
In a tent in the mountains with many miles to walk
In a cabin by the ocean
Anywhere you want

And when you’re too tired to keep going,
I’ll take the lead
And pave the way
Through the streets of this city
Let you rest until you wake
And take your place by me,
A perfect team.

Echoes

Echoes

I hope that from the moment you entered this world, you knew love
I did
In the soft touch of my mothers hand
As we crossed the street
And the gaze of all my family
I brought that with me
Time after time
Finding love is easy
But enduring is not always
But the old cliche is true
It’s better to lose than to never have
To build up walls and lock yourself away
Because I am made up of many pieces
Of those I’ve loved
Family
Friends
Lovers
Small things like
Angel food cake with cool whip and strawberries
Peeps marshmallow candy
Fried chicken a little too burnt
A dogfish head IPA

Flip flops in the dead of winter
The smell of smoke lingering on a sofa
A favorite band we saw together

A big smile and a pat on the back
Or an aperol spritz by a lake
Every thought I have
Every move I make contains
Echoes of those I love now
Those I’ve loved and lost
A beautiful symphony
I never want to fade
Until I’m gone
And the whisper echoes in the minds
Of those that love me.

The next right thing

The next right thing

I’m not sure what controls this world
Or what its motivations are
I think the safest thing to believe
Is nothing at all
Pure randomness
And the free will we exercise together
In this grand mosaic of planet earth
Weaving together the history of our world
One thread at a time
And so, each day is precious
Each moment each decision
Each good day and every ray of sun
Because in a moment the wind can change
And blow it all away.
It happens all the time
To people far better than me
But no matter what life throws at me
I will always pop up
And a smile will arise again
Today
Tomorrow
In sixty years
Till I draw my last breath
Because the only thing I can control
Is my own actions
And what I do with what I am given
And I always hope
Always want
For it to be
The next right thing.

A warm bright spot

A warm bright spot

This world contains multitudes
It’s not one or the other
For every day full of sunshine and warmth
There’s a storm waiting to darken the sky
That will, too, eventually pass
And there’s often no sense
No reason
Why some get more of one
And some more of the other
And some not enough of either.
And I am just one small part of this world
One weightless drop of water,
One small beam of light,
But I am a part of it
It’s shape and feel
It’s light and darkness
So I seek to be a small, warm, bright spot
A gentle place to take a rest
Before moving on the way
And I seek not to take
But to give
Not to win
But to build
Not to hate
But to love
And I know I will fail sometimes
But I hope to succeed more times
And I hope you join me
And the world becomes a little warmer and brighter
Together.