Category: Uncategorized
The Divide
It’s not worth my time to always chase you
To always be in pursuit of a person
Who, no matter how hard you try, what you do,
Will never have an inkling of what you’ve done,
The small invisible things that make life easy
Always take care Because you care deeply
How you disguise the pain so they don’t see
The disconnect that you feel completely
Like nobody sees you for who you are,
Like nobody understands how much you care
Like you’re staring at the world from afar
Hoping they dont notice how much you stare
Trying not to expose your heart to harm
While protecting everyone else under your arm.
Wounded
It feels like all our lives we’ve been searching
Always trying to find something
Like there was a part of us incomplete
A deep wound we couldn’t treat,
At least not on our own.
That ache in our marrow, deep in the bone
The wanderlust that we cannot shake
No matter what title we achieve, how much money we make.
This hole can’t be filled with material possessions
Shallow relationships, scuba lessons.
It can only be filled by love and good deeds,
Love given without any heed
To reciprocation or personal benefit.
Only then will the darkness be lit
And the emptiness filled with peace.
Breaking Through
I’ve always craved closeness, always pulled away,
Always held back things I couldn’t say
Feeling like I observed the world around me
Through a pane of bulletproof glass: I can see
But never touch, never feel,
Never really know if any of it is real
or in my head. Always at arms length
Using every ounce of my strength
To try to break through the barrier,
To truly feel connected, understood.
In a way, I thought that no one ever could.
Sometimes I tire of the struggle, want to weep
Lie down, give up, but I can’t. Won’t. I will keep
Fighting to break through to someone, anyone.
Who knows? Maybe it will be you.
4am
In the early hours of the morning
When the city is wrapped in deep slumber
When there’s no danger, no need for warning
And the minds of dreamers, giants lumber
Silence smothers the city, a deep embrace,
Everything clear as finest crystal
No need to hide away your truest face
Finally free to tear down every wall.
Alone with your thoughts, your mind buzzes warm-
Free to think.
Listening to the beat of your own heart-
Free to feel.
Finally able to hear your heart’s whisper…
I love her. I am finally sure.
Breadth vs Depth
I’ve spent so much time with my head just above the clouds, in a world of my own. Watching the world from a distance, never stepping forward and taking control. I never tried to penetrate the surface, never tried to dive in deep. I just observed everything I could and hoped my surface knowledge, surface interactions, would fill the hunger in my soul. Now I’m behind, but not out of the race. It’s time to take the plunge, it’s time to plumb the depths, it’s time to grab control of my life and participate. It’s time to leave my comfort zone. It’s time to be present as a doer, not as a watcher. In pursuit of more depth and less breadth.
Written Fall 2015
No escape
It’s the strongest cage that exists
The prison you can never escape from
No matter how hard you fight to resist
You can not stop the way your heart strings strum
You can’t escape the Alcatraz in your head
A prison made with bars of strongest steel
And every time that you go to bed
You will not be able to help but feel
The loneliness seeping into your heart
The emptiness creeping into your soul
But it doesn’t matter, you will do your part
You will stoke the fire and tend the coal.
It’s not about you: it never will be,
You don’t want it to. This way you are free.
Seeking
I’ve been wandering for years, without a guide,
With no direction, no guiding purpose:
Just passing through life, Never feeling tied
To anything of worth. Living with no fuss
Because I didn’t care about a thing.
But now I see the world through different eyes.
Eyes that have gazed upon you. Eyes that sting
When they look away from you. Now I will fight
For you. I will do all within my power
To see the blinding light that is your smile
To make sure that not one thing will sour
Your day. And if I should fail, all the while,
I’ll be holding your hand- standing with you.
There is nothing else on earth I’d rather do.
Infinite
The seconds tick by more rapidly now;
Gone are the days when they creeped slowly by.
Gone are the days when I marveled at how
big the world was under an endless sky.
I have loved and I have lost many friends.
I have seen how quickly life can slip away
When you only look forward around the bend.
I do not want to waste another day.
I cherish the seconds that stretch on for hours
As we laugh about nothing in my place
As we walk below the city’s towers
As I bask in the beauty of your face.
I hope that when this all comes to an end
I’m left with fond memories and you as a friend.
You.
Yes, I am the one who lead you away
But you are truly the one who took me,
That sunny afternoon I begged you stay
Just another hour, a minute was my plee
But time got in the way and we parted
And the summer of my life became winter.
And since that day thoughts of you have darted
In and out of my mind, constant and bitter.
I will never forget those cool spring nights
When everything stood perfectly still
And the world ceased to exist. It is trite
But those were the best days of my life, are still.
You will always be a favorite piece of me,
But it’s time to let you go. It’s best, I see.
Written in July 2010







